The question is no longer who you want to be, it’s “What are you going to do with your life?” It is almost like a threat when you hear it, whether from friends or adults.
One friend I discussed the aforementioned question with claimed college was the single most important thing in anyone’s life. Seeing as I couldn’t glare at her through a text message, I promptly sent her a reply asking her if she was on crack. I asked her why she said that, seeking a thorough, supported defense, considering we had just survived AP Language, but all I got was “IDK.” And from that I knew her answer was knee jerk. We had been listening to teachers, guidance counselors and parents go on and on about getting into and succeeding in college. Just because it was a topic of much concern doesn’t make it the fulcrum upon which your life hinges. What about getting married? Having kids, if you were so inlcined? Both can make your life happy, or they can make it miserable. College just insures income, which never secures happiness. This observation is based on my life experience.
So naturally, my friend was appalled to hear that college didn’t frighten me or strike me as particularly important. Sure college education sounds great. But I want to get married. I want to get a house, I want to travel, live all over. I don’t particularly want to go to college, which is just blasphemous to utter. I love to learn, but I believe that more learning is done outside of the classroom, not inside one, with its parameters, and regulations, and curriculum. How can you possibly learn all that you need to in such a timed, enclosed environment?
The last time someone asked me what I wanted to do, it wasn’t a threat. It was an invitation to talk, and what was said shook me to my core, not with fear, but with realization of the potential of life in general. It was at a good friend of mine’s open house, the day after graduation. (Not mine, I am class of ‘10.) I was sitting quietly in the room while everyone made conversation, because I was mad that I was there alone, because my boyfriend had bailed; I was however, comfortable at this open house because my friend’s relatives were all from the North, and their behavior and the Northern lilt in their speech was soothing. My friend (nicknamed Dirt, and that is how I shall mention him here) Dirt’s grandfather noticed my meek state, and tried to talk to me from across the room, but when neither of us could hear, he came over to speak to me. “What do you want to do?” He asked me. I looked at him for a second, feeling like a cornered animal, but I told him anyway. “I want to major in criminology,” I told him. “Maybe English, maybe become a teacher. I don’t know, really.” And this is what he told me:
Teaching is a good place to start. But don’t settle too quickly. You have time. Look around, there is a lot of stuff to do in life. Try a little bit of everything. But most of all, make sure you listen to people. People are smart, they got a lot of wisdom. Don’t take for granted what people tell you, because it may help you sooner or later. Just do what you want–you have plenty of time to figure it out.
Dirt still bugs his grandfather to find out what he said to me, but Pépé (that is his title) refuses. Just writing about this, and his refusal to divulge what he told me, brings tears to my eyes. The wisdom that had been shared with me will forever be priceless. So even if everyone thinks I am just throwing stones and waiting to see if they strike something that I like, I don’t care. Because I can do what I want–regardless of everyone else.