Teenager: Adults Telling Us NO
Posted by Kaelie on June 4, 2008
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed.
The crossing from preteen to teen (or young adult, whichever you prefer) is marked by one thing: the considerable restriction on your life. Or it was in my case. As a kid, going places with your friends was no big deal–you usually had a chaperone. However, as a kid, you don’t usually make the same demands as a teen, because you don’t know better. You don’t badger your parents for the freedoms you suddenly crave: movies every weekend after dark, the ability to change plans on a whim and screw your parents over. (I do that all the time.) You want the freedom to express yourself in anyway you choose. In this instance, we’ll focus on artists, mainly writers.
I had discussed this with Taylor earlier and I decided to discuss it with my Hamster, to get two different views because adults and kids sometimes see things differently. However, me, Hamz, and Taylor had the same train of thought: “Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot say.” I had been upset about a message someone had sent me in response to my statement “That’s gay.” They told it was NOT OK to say that, that teens do it all the time and it’s not cool. And, since I’m a teen, I deleted the message and refused to acknowledge the sender. Because teens can be childish like that. The world thinks we’re childish all the time anyway. While I cannot say I was RIGHT to say that, I can say that no one is going to edit their language when they are extremely flustered. it just doesn’t work that way, I’m sorry. And I’m not going to apologize for what I said, because I don’t think I need to. (I know my friend Bsinger 1017 would find this particularily hilarious, ebcause he says GAY after pretty much everything.)
However, I do agree with Talyor on one thing: gay sounds immature, coming from a writer like me. Had I been a little more calm and my thoughts less clouded, I would have used a different word. There are, much to your surprise, I know, quite a few words in my vocabluary that can express my irritation and anger. Hamz said “…had no right. You can express yourself! What ever happened to freedom of speech? Well, I know [they] have the ability to cally ou out, but online? Isn’t that why do all that online stuff? To get away from adults who tell you what you should and should not do?” EXACTLY.
Gay, in some ways, is the same as any “derogatory” “mean-spirited” word. Such as bitch. OMG! Did I just swear. Yeah. I did. Because I can.
June 4, 2008 at 1:38 am
Kaelie,
I had a very conservative upbringing. My father never even said “Damn” in front of us (my mother, who had a much more rough and ready upbringing, did occasionally slip, but usually not when Dad was around).
I find the word “suck” to be extremely offensive, both because of its implications and its sound. However, I understood the word “slut” to mean slovenly; I have been warned by co-workers that it now is considered extremely offensive and inappropriate. Similarly, “gay” used to mean “jolly, happy, carefree.” I knew girls whose first name was Gay!
Obviously, meanings change & what is offensive to one group might be harmless to another. The students in our MS/HS use the word “gay” the same way that you do. I wince a bit, but it’s impossible to purge their vocabulary by the time they’re teens. Plus, they hear these words at home.
Use your gift for words, avoid offending others when you can. Don’t apologize for being yourself.
June 4, 2008 at 10:46 am
Hey Kallie,
I think I was the one who made the comment about the word gay. I cannot recall now exactly what I said, but I do not think I said you cannot say it. I am a huge fan of language as self expression. I have been known to actually swear in my classroom. Gasp!
I just mentioned it because things like homophobia, racism, and misogyny are so ingrained in our culture that sometimes we do not even realize what we are saying. I just wanted to bring it to your attention. I used gay in high school in a derogatory way all the time. It wasn’t until I had homosexual friends that I started to see how wrong it is to equate their lifestyle to things that are negative.
Simple as that. I think you are a great writer and we would love your insight and craft at my pet project. Come by and check it out: http://intrepidclassroom.edublogs.org
June 5, 2008 at 11:36 pm
@Diane: My house is pretty much the same–Dad swears, but Mom doesn’t, so. I won’t apologize, don’t worry.
Being myself is all I have.
@Intrepidteacher: I understand, don’t worry. It’s odd: as soon as I got into high school, all the teachers swore every so often, so. Thank you. My point wasn’t that I was called out, it was that I don’t always think things through when I am overtly frustrated. I made something on a Ning for the intrepidclassroom.
June 24, 2008 at 8:08 am
I say “gay” after everything? O_o
July 24, 2008 at 6:12 pm
@Brad: After everything that you don’t like.
It’s okay, it usually makes me laugh.