Stay Pretty

When I listen to music, it’s fun for me to find stuff I can relate to me.  It’s like when I listen to “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?”, it reminds me of myself when I wear my Kate Beckinsale boots:

Big, black boots
Long brown hair
She’s so sweet with that
Get back stare

It always makes me smile when I hear that, because I’m like, Hm.  Wouldn’t it be cool if I danced around in my boots to that song?  But, it isn’t a song that really makes me think.  It reminds me of Daniel a little bit.  But, there is this song that makes me think EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT.  It’s called “Stay Pretty” by Farewell, and I think I have their “September Brought The Fall” on my lyrics page.  But, when I listen to “Stay Pretty” I think alot.  The song’s about the fall of a person–how their morals disintegrate, and the people aren’t who they used to be.  About losing friends because you compromise your morals to be cool.

By the bags under your eyes
I’ve seen you packed for the week
So hang up this shit for the neighbors to see
Writing won’t save the world
So you best stay pretty girl

That whole song makes me question some of the decisions I’ve made and why I’ve made them.  “The foolish man isn’t the one who makes the mistake.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The foolish man is the one who makes the same mistake over and over again.”

Some days I qualify myself as a fool.  I walk into the same situations over and over again.  Lately, I’ve been thinking more about my decisions before rushing into them.  When I blog, I am trying to change the world– maybe not as drastically as ya’ll think, but I’m trying to make an influence.  “Stay Pretty” makes me think about what would happen if I failed at writing–do I have anything else to offer?  Maybe.  But, if not.  I am going to hang up this shit for the neighbors to see.  And my writing may not save the world, but I hope it’ll make a difference.

Well, you’ve been living a lie by your own admission
My patience has been hard enough to fake
And the secrets you save for your new physician
Are leaving me with one ear on the safe

And the holes in your story increase suspicion
Your witnesses have all been on the take
And we can give it a gamble under one condition
You’ll have to take your foot off the, foot off the brake

So give up and give in and start over again
But be honest, cause you’re all I need
It’s pathetic
Why can’t we get it straight?

Well, you’ve been compromised by your new position
They’re looking up your skirt, for heavens sake
And your army of fakes that refuse to listen
Will end up in designer, shallow graves

It’s true
The torture and tears have become tradition
But the something on the side is what takes the cake
And the surplus of uppers and apparitions
Are the only things that keep me up, keep me awake

So give up and give in and start over again
But be honest, cause you’re all I need
It’s pathetic
Why can’t we get it straight?
So stay up and stay in
Yeah, I’ll say it again
Look beyond this
There’s a big picture that you’re missing
Framed by the first mistake

By the bags under your eyes
I can see that you’ve packed for the week
So hang up this shit for the neighbors to see
Writing won’t save the world
So you best stay pretty, girl

So give up and give in and start over again
But be honest, cause you’re all I need
It’s pathetic
Why can’t we get it straight?
So stay up and stay in
Yeah, I’ll say it again
Look beyond this
There’s a big picture that you’re missing
Framed by the first mistake
By the first mistake
By the first mistake
Framed by the first mistake

“Stay Pretty” by Farewell 

Mixed Tape

I am currently working on Daniel’s mix, trying to decide which order I should put everything in.  The first song is “Mixed Tape” by Jack’s Mannequin, and I hope he likes it, because if he doesn’t I’ll feel bad.  *grins* I doubt he’ll hate it thought–or at least he won’t tell me.

I literally ripped apart my library today trying to find good stuff for his mix.  I’m really indecisive about it, because some of the stuff I want to put on there probably isn’t something he’s going to like.  I know some of the music that he listens to and it’s a little bit different from his.  He hate’s a lot of the stuff I listen to, but what one of my guy friends doesn’t?  I put “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers on there for him, and that’s only one that I know for sure he’ll actually like–we had a long discussion about it.

I need to be writing my novel right now, but at the moment, I’m content to be writing about the little things that make my life mine.  Making mixes for example.  I love making mixes.  The only part I don’t like is ripping the song to the computer and burning it to a cd.  Takes FOREVER.  But, when all is said and done, I have fun doing so, because if there’s one thing I love more than reading and writing, it’s introducing people to the music I listen to.  It’s just a good feeling.  Music makes everything better. 

Speaking of making everything better, I need to take Excederin, because my head’s killing me.  I need to start wearing my glasses, because I read for several hours straight on the weekends.  Par example, I spent two hours reading Neil Gaimain’s The Sand Man: Volume 4, The Seasons of Mist.  Although, the headache may be from the paint fumes that I was around while painting shutters today.  I’ll get over it.

Character development coming along for the modern rewrite of Tarot Cards right now.  Ramxpage and I are collaborating on cover ideas.  It’s not going to be very easy.  Once we have sketches and the final designs, I will of course post them.  My friend suggested self publishing, so maybe that way I can choose what the cover looks like.  My character has taken on aspects of my behavior of late, and she’s become really annoying.  To William at least.  I love it.  I’m going to go edit and rewrite now.  Bye! 

The First To End

This post is about one of the proudest moments in my life.  I am like *this* close to being done with the first manuscript of my novel.  I am so freaking excited that I can’t wait to work on it…the only reason I’m not doing that at the moment is because I’m talking to y’all.  Rachel is only a week or so away from being the queen of England.  But, she told me she wasn’t going to read what made her the queen of England because it wasn’t part of our agreement.  Figures.

My manuscript so far is 192 pages without the long excerpt I had to edit, which is, at the moment, in a separate document, so with that…it’s over 200 pages, and then I have to write the last five or six chapters, which should take me like two days, depending on how much computer time I get.  Hamz likes reading my work, so she unwittingly deemed herself my critiquer.  She gets to check for my mistakes.  Maybe not.  I’ll probably have my mother do that and then Hamz can read it for leisure. 

I have discovered that the Moulin Rouge soundtrack is one of the most motivating.  It kept my attention on writing for over two hours.  Normally, I get on the computer, I write for maybe twenty minutes and then I get bored.  Then, I blog or mess around with my settings on my blog, get bored with that and play freecell until my dad tells me to get off the computer.  So, yeah.  I have the attention span of a goldfish with ADD, as I have told you before, and that only applies to my writing, because I can sit and read an entire book with only breaks for the bathroom.  Unlike Rampage, you have to tie her down, drug her, and give her enough food to feed an entire third world country to get her to read.  Just kidding, ramxpage. 

It also helps that yesterday my parents were talking about my brother and his band competition and how proud they were.  Great, yeah, I’m proud, too, but since no one seems to care about my writing, the only way to get attention is to finish the first draft, and have my mother edit it.  I think she will like it.  I know I love it and you know if you like it it has to be good.  :D  Wow, that can apply to so many things that I shouldn’t have said it.

Anyway, my manuscript is so close to being finished that I am on the verge of going psycho because I’m so EXCITED!  I’m going to Ramxpage’s hockey game tonight and chilling at her house for a while, so I’ll be put back a day or so in my writing.  Oh, well.  I’ll post about the results of the game, and how everything’s going tonight!

The Greatest Thing You Will Ever Learn

“The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

That is my quote of the day, because I just watched that movie again.  That’s why I have a Nicole Kidman avatar, becuase it’s from Moulin Rouge!  I adore that movie.  Listening to Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street soundtrack.  Still haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’m loving the soundtrack!  I am currently reading Neil Gaiman’s Stardust and I love it!

Anyway, I haven’t posted forever.  I am taking a break from writing because I have midterms and I can’t get into any of my stories, except one and I have to come to up with a decent skeleton for it, and so far all I’ve got is the ribcage, if we’re still going with the bone metaphor. 

Have I ever told you guys how much I despise young adult novels?  The supernatural ones at least?  Well, I’m going to go off on my little hate wagon and tell you guys anyway.

First of all, the heroines or heroes are usually annoying little nits that you absolutely cannot stand. I know that.  Sorry, Fluffy, but I have to rag on the Isabella Swan character.  All that chick does is cry or beg someone to bite her.  I honestly don’t see the allure of immortality.  I’ve suffered enough in the fifteen years I’ve lived.  Why would I want to live till the end of time?  Then, you have the stories that have the funky endings that are so open that you could just really shoot the book.  I hate those.  I guess I am just used to reading the adult supernatural novels where the characters are amazing.  I’m done.

I just got some young adult books and I tried to read them.  I really did…then I quit.  I still have a couple Anita Blake books left to read…and one to buy because Ramxpage’s b-day is going to be here in three days’ time!  But, we also go back to school that day.  I can’t wait to give Ramxpage her birthday card.  It’s so wrong that my mom won’t let me show my dad lest he have a heart attack.  :D  Yeah, that’s how bad it is.

My second favorite Christmas movie was played four times a row on TBS the night before Christmas.  Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas movie aside from It’s a Wonderful Life because it is so hilarious.  I laugh every time I watch it, no matter how many times I’ve watched it that way.  Chevy Chase is just so expressive. 

Nobody Ever Pulls a Scene ‘Round Here

Listening to The Killers still, so that’s why the title.  Again.  :D  They are so getting a thank you if I ever get a book published.  Anyway.  That quote is kind of relevant to school, because you would really be surprised about how little violence goes on at our school, and it isn’t like I’m not informed.  I keep a tab on everything that goes on at school.  A couple of months ago, there was something to do with gangs and a lynching, but that was like an ugly duckling amongst a flock of swans.  How often does that happen?  Once, because someone wrote a book about it.  Haha. 

My book is still coming along.  Trying to pick a title, because lately that’s like trying to get a beached whale into the ocean with just one person.  Near impossible.  Because that analogy allows for the person to use technology, so it isn’t completely impossible.  Rambling, sorry.  I am still reading A Lick of Frost and I can’t wait to start Angela’s Ashes. Rampage’s mother is letting me borrow it.  I remember reading a clip from it in ninth grade last year for class and I really liked it and Rae  Rae’s mother was like, “It’s an amazing book, I’ll let you borrow it when you have time to do it.”  And we’re coming up on Thanksgiving break, and I will have ALoF done by then, and then For a Few Demons More doesn’t come out in paperback until the 27th.  (That will be the best moment in my life, holding that paperback in my hands.)  Relatives!  I’m so excited, because we never see our relatives. But now we will see them, so it makes my frowny face a smiley face :D.

“Girl With Lips Like Morphine” is playing right now, and it is a very obscure, very amazing sound, so that means I am no longer listening to The Killers.  I should probably go study for AP World History so I can make it through school tomorrow.  Apparently–according to my sister–I was talking in my sleep last night.  Counting or something.  I definitely don’t even remember falling asleep, much less than having a life like dream.

Well, I am going to wish you all a nice sleep, because I need to study and prepare for the last day of school for 5 days!  It’s very exciting.  Oh, and I hope NaNoWriMo is coming along well, struggling writer!

He Doesn’t Look A Thing Like Jesus

Okay, currently, my favorite song is “When You Were Young” by The Killers.  That’s why the title is such.

“You sit in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways.  Now it doesn’t matter, oh, here he comes.  He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young.”

I love that quote just because it pretty much sums up my life.  But, I still don’t know the name of my beautiful boy, even though I see him every day at lunch. So many smiley faces today. I am just having a good day.  Currently reading A Lick of Frost by Laurell K. Hamilton, the Merry Gentry series.  It’s okay.  I don’t really like that series compared to the Anita Blake books because…who doesn’t love Anita Blake?  Wierd people.  LOL!

Anyway.  My writing is coming along excellently actually.  I have discovered the source of my writer’s block.  It is the fact that I am hesitant about writing what pops into my head first, and I’ve started doing that, and I can consecutively write a story now.  I am trying to stop the little excerpts, unless it is just so amazing I can’t resist.  The only thing that would make me write excerpts would be length.  You are supposed to finish a notebook a month, but the woman who wrote that must be insane. I don’t have the time…I barely have time to read nowadays.  So I make time by not paying attention in class…like right now, but who cares?  Probably O-Dawg.

Anybody else love the song “Lovestoned/I Think She Knows” by Justin Timberlake?  It’s really out of the ordinary for me to listen to something like that, but I absolutely adore all of the songs that have come off of his new album.  My mom does too.  I love that he music tastes are so similar to mine. 
Ah, Thanksgiving is approaching.  My aunt commented on here, which makes me happy.  I think I would like it if people in my family looked at my blog, because since they all leave 800 miles away, we never really talk.  There is, however, one thing I hate about entertaining relatives and I will tell you what it is: my mother going anal on us.  We clean everything, and then we clean everything again with a toothbrush with soap.

Okay, so I may be exaggerating, but at the same time, my mother goes crazy with the cleaning.  She does this when we have friends over, too.  I see the solution to this: never have guests.  Actually, maybe we should just keep the house clean all the time…Nah.  That’s actually really difficult with a 7 member family.  Five kids, two adults, not to mention to two retarded cats…  In short, that gives you a messy house.

Well, the bell is going to ring at any moment, and I need to be on time to class…for once. 

Have Some Composure, Where Is Your Posture?

Yes, I am currently listening to Panic! At The Disco, which I know is rachelxrampage’s favorite band!  Well, guess what?  Kaeliexcurbxstomp doesn’t care!  Anyway, I am listening to “Time To Dance”  and I am singing along…back to that ditzy tunes post. This is just kind of a summary of my overally boring day.  Photographer told me that he wouldn’t collect on his bet, but that I should do it soon…Is he hinting at something?  Hm….Anyway. Called him like he begged and did he answer?  NO.  So, when he says, you didn’t call, I am going to tell him to jump off a bridge….I couldn’t do that.  I love him too much.  Anyway, going to be walking around outside tomorrow during fourth with Photographer…Should be fun.  I’m excited.  I have been cooped up all week and it’s pissing me off because I haven’t been outside in this B-E-A-utiful southern autumn.  I’ve been babysitting because me mommy had to work…  Anyway.  Broke my best day ever on my blog stats.  85 views today. Pretty good, huh?  The timing is wierd because it starts a new day at like eight o’clock at night, even though I have my clock on the blog set right, I think it goes by UTC times.  I’m rambling.  I need to read “The Fall of the House of Usher” so I have some sort of clue as to what’s going on.

Saw this really cute guy at the restaurant, and he was working, and I was trying not to drool because that wouldn’t be very sanitary.  I’ve been contemplating putting pictures on this site, because I don’t know what my teacher would say about that.  I mean, it wouldn’t really hurt anything, and hamz put it on her blog, so I might put my pics up…the good ones anyway. So, hopefully this weekend I will be posting at three in the morning because that means I am hanging out with my best friend in the whole wide galaxy RachelxRampage.  I need to get ready for bed.  Good night, and good luck kiddies!

A Ditzy Tune

I hate it when I have a song stuck in my head.  I love music, but when I have random song running through my head during a test, it make sit really hard to concentrate.  Par example: “What caused the fall of the Byzantine empire?  a) the seljuk turks b) the Christians c)… Hey, j-j-jaded. You’ve got your mother’s style but your yesterday’s child to me…“  Do you see the problem here?  I do.  So, if I fail at life, I am going to blame it on Aerosmith.  It was really funny, the other day we were watching Lord of The Rings in Film Criticism class and out of nowhere I started singing Gym Class Heroes’ “Cupid’s Chokehold”  I felt like such a ditz.  Do you realize that most people think that you are just stupid if you hum to yourself?  Yeah… Damn.  Have to set my time back on the website.  Crap on toast.

Weekend Plans

Okay, a lot of people around me go to this skate park and it is really annoying when they get in my face because my dad won’t let me go.  So, normally, I hang out with Rampage on the weekends because we’re bffls.  But, most of the time, I stay at home, eat all day and read and try to write.  But, no, this weekend I have something to do…

SWITCHFOOT RELIENT K CONCERT, BABY!!!!!!!

You betcha.  I am so excited.  Photographer laughed at me and my other photographer friend on yearbook are going, but I am so excited.  I have been listening to Switchfoot since their third cd came out when I was in the fourth grade.  I missed their two previous cds, but got them a few years ago on my birthday, and they have three yearly releases since then, and I absolutely love them. I will probably post a picture of the tee shirt that I am to get when I go.  *grin*  It’s almost as exciting as the fact that Holidays are Hell came out today when I’ve been waiting for it since August!!!!  Also, I need to go buy Emmy Rossum’s cd…..

Life, In General

Today, was, overall, a good day.  I didn’t have any problem getting through first, second, or third.  I love fourth period, because it is Yearbook, and that’s amazing, because the teach in that class loves me, because I am really good at it.  But, anyway, I usually end up having a downhill kind of day after that, because of certain people that I don’t want to talk about, and, no, Rampage, I am not referring to you.  But, as usual, fifth period lifted my spirits through the friggin’ roof, and that’s pretty good because my high school is like three stories tall.  But, anyway.  Emmy Rossum has a new Cd, you know her from Phantom of the Opera.  She is really pretty, and her voice is amazing, and I am actually listening to the cd now, because I want to know if it is any good before I buy it, and so far, I adore it, its very inspiring.  Vanessa Carlton’s new Cd also came out, and that’s pretty amazing, because I love her.  I usually only listen to the bands of like, death metal, and hard core, but lately, I’ve been back into my female singers.  I have all of Vanessa’s cd’s except her new one, and Emmy is quite similar to Vanessa.  I am reading Stray by Rachel Vincent, and that lady is pretty amazing, I can’t wait until her new book comes out!…Which won’t be for a while, because that book just came out a few months ago.